Insert Card Fully

Hello world

I'm sure that no one is reading this ever. That is fine because I've ignored this space for so long. I'm in the process of switching jobs and I'm torn up over it. I've been waking up with all sorts of anxiety dreams at night. I've been really tense this holiday season. I've got a great deal of work to do. I've got to get settled in to my new classroom. I've got to jump into the middle of a year long class where I'm replacing an experienced teacher. This will be my first time teaching this course. It is still just English and I'm completely qualified to teach it. It is just that I am going to have to teach in a manner that I've never done before. I'm going to have to really step up what I'm doing. I can do that. I think that is the main reason why I've chosen to put myself through this anxiety. I had been at my old school for 16.5 years and I had grown complacent. I needed something to jolt me awake. This is definitely going to jolt me. I'm not usually a risk taker. For instance, I've been teaching in the same high school from which I graduated. I've been there for all of my adult life even though for several years I had to drive an hour each way to get to my job. Things are in place right now for me to make this change. I'm confident in my ability to do it. The schedule that I'm getting is worth the change. I just turned forty-years-old on Christmas Eve. It's time that I take a risk in my life and stop playing everything so safe. But I am scared to death. I'm sure that the people that I will be working with will be fine. It will just take me awhile to feel like I know them. I may never feel as comfortable at my new school as I do at my old one, but that could be a good thing. Perhaps I'll be more professional. I'd hope so. But I will miss old fun me. I'm going to miss that more than anything. Hopefully, there will be a place for "Big Fully" at this school. I do hope so.

Insert title Fully

I get tired of trying to come up with titles for these posts. In fact, I've been in a long posting drought. I'm happy that Led Zeppelin is finally releasing their catalog in digital format. However, I think that like so many other things from the past, I've heard so much Zeppelin over the years that when I do listen to it I will move on after just a few moments of the song. Still, I miss "The Lemon Song" and several others from back in my teenage years. I remember being in New Orleans when Zeppelin had to cancel their concert because Robert Plant's son had died. I was in eighth grade or so and we were on vacation. My sister wanted us to go to the concert but then they canceled it. There's really nothing more to the story; it's just a vague memory that is rearing it's head this morning while I can't sleep.

On Vox: Nervous Mom

My nine year old is going away with short notice to Boston for the rest of the week. I suppose that I'm ok with her going to visit her aunt and cousins, but I'm so not ok with the fact...

» Read more on Vox

On Vox: Week two of freedom

What will I do this week? Hmmm... it seems that now that the Boston section of the family is leaving and the kids are out of school, things will settle down to normal. I'm glad about that. Jim's got to...

» Read more on Vox

On Vox: Southern Festival of Books

I've been looking at the site for the SFoB which takes place next weekend. So far, I want to go on Saturday. There's a big scheduling problem though. On Saturday we have the fainting goat festival in town. So I...

» Read more on Vox

Monday Morning blues

Should be cleaning up, but I'm not. Instead I'm wasting time, lots of time at The World of Pop Culture web site. Total time waster. I could at least be installing my new wireless router, but I'm not. A week from today I go back to work and then I'm stuck in school for the next nine weeks. Getting back on that roller coaster is always something that I dread. Once I'm there it usually isn't so bad, but I always waste the weeks before by dreading it. And not being productive.

What's a little time apart?

I have almost stopped posting. I'm not sure why. Perhaps I just developed other interests or perhaps I just got tired of posting. I don't really know. I do know that I'm ashamed to admit that I've been listening on repeat to Timbaland's "Give it to me" over and over again. I can't help it. That Tim has just got the best  beats.  Let's see... what has been happening with us... oh yeah! we finally got a Wii! And that's about all we do now. What else...hmm... now that it's summer I have finally be able to kick my Office addiction. Well almost. I will confess that I've been reading fanfic. not writing it, just reading it. Writing fanfic would imeadiately make me more of a nerd than I already am.  What else? I've done some house cleaning and even tackled the mythical bench that looms in my bedroom. Speaking of my bedroom, I got locked in it one day and had to climb out the window. I wish my husband would get the doorknob fixed for obvious reasons. We've gone to the local pool quite often. It's not as exciting as the pool that Kate Winslet goes to in "Little Children" but there is plenty to see. My husband just came home so I'd better go.

Yonder comes a freight train, rollin' down the tracks...

Or however that song goes. The kids get a four day weekend for Easter and I'm out until the week after for spring break. So this weekend we are going to hop a freight train (amtrak actually) and go to New Orleans. We'll spend Saturday travelling and Monday travelling, but the main point of the trip is to let the kids travel by train. We'll spend Sunday in New Orleans and visit with a friend of mine who has just started teaching there in a school that has just reopened from Katrina. We'll take the kids to the zoo, ride the streetcars, have beignets and cafe au lait at Cafe du Monde and then return the next day. I'm stocking up at the dollar store on playing cards, spiral notebooks, and coloring books for the trip. We'll play school and cards in the train lounge. The kids are juiced about eating in the dining car. I'm juiced about getting out of town for a couple of days. I recap when I get back.

Questioning myself

There is an opportunity at work right now. The AP Senior English job opens up next year. They have offered it to a friend of mine and I think this friend should take it. Teacher X is the best choice, but Teacher X isn't sure  he/she wants it. I think I'm in the running for the job if Teacher X turns it down. But I'm looking very hard at myself. I'm asking myself am I truly qualified, is this just my ego that wants this job, am I up to the challenge, is there a better choice?  I don't want to take the job if offered just to take it, that would be a disservice to the students - they deserve the best teacher they can get in this class. It may not even be an issue, Teacher X may just decide to do it. But if he/she doesn't take the job...am I up to it? It is a scary proposition. Either way this is causing me to take a good hard look at myself. Sometimes I do feel like a charlatan in my job, I suppose everybody does at times. Then there are the times that I know I'm a competent teacher who knows what I'm doing. I suppose it is difficult to truly know when you are a teacher how good you are. There are no easy measures of your ability. From a school administrator's viewpoint a good teacher manages discipline and doesn't send too many kids to the office. From a governmental viewpoint, a good teacher is one who gets their students to pass the state standardized tests; from a student's perspective a good teacher is fair, challenging (just a little) and makes class fun.  However, from a teacher's experience, a truly good teacher is all of those things and more.  We want to engage our students and develop a love of our subject. We want them to learn to think for themselves even if they don't think the same way we do. We want them to grow into productive citizens and we want them to remember our class with goodwill. But most of all we want them to master the subject. Teaching literature is about more than just reading the novels, poems, and plays. It is about teaching writing, grammar, analyzation, speaking skills, and above all synthesis of all of these things. That's what makes it so hard. Easily, one can teach in a manner that keeps the students, parents, and principals content. But to make that jump from good teacher to great teacher requires something else. It requires passion, commitment, dedication, as well as imagination. I don't know if I'm that teacher or if I can be that teacher. I hope I'm getting there. That's always the goal. But am I making progress. I look at what I knew about teaching when I was  mere tyro. I knew nothing compared to now. I have a much keener understanding of my students and how to work with them than I did ten or even five years ago. But am I capable of making the next step?  Do I have it in me?  Part of me wants to try and part of me wants to stay in my comfort zone knowing that even if I don't get that job, I still should always strive to improve. Well, class is about to begin. I can muse on this some more later.

Last.fm

I've discovered Last.fm
I like it.
More than Pandora.
That's all I'm saying about it.